Feb 2009
"I've always sorted out my problems on my own..."
If you've reached a point where you are seriously contemplating getting some counselling or therapy, you may be feeling apprehensive about what you could get yourself into. It's difficult to walk into a strange room, with a complete stranger, and talk to them about things you have barely ever talked about out loud, let alone with someone else there. The anonymity of therapy is an important comfort, but there are still a lot of unknown factors: What hidden parts of me might be uncovered? Will I go mad? Will I spend a whole lot of money with little real result? Is there a better way? Can I trust this person to do the right thing by me?
If this is you, I wanted to offer some basic, fairly universal things to consider before you start, and some questions you may want to ask your therapist at your first session.
Consider asking yourself:
- If therapy is about change, what parts do I want to remain the same?
- Do I want someone to help me help myself, or do I want someone to tell me what to do?
- How will I know that the therapy is working?
- How long do I want this therapy to last?
- What will I do if I think the therapy isn't helping?
- What sacrifices am I prepared to make in order for the therapy to work?
Consider asking your therapist:
- Do you have regular supervision? Would you be talking about me with your supervisor?
- Do you do any other professional development?
- Have you ever had therapy?
- What do you do with your notes?
- Do you use a particular approach, and if so, what is it called?
- Are there any types of client who you usually don't work with, and where do you refer those people on to?
You may also want to sit down and come up with some different questions of your own. If you are feeling depressed, for example, you may want to ask for more specific information about depression, or whether your therapist can recommend any good books on the topic.
Therapy is difficult, often in ways that you don't expect. It is also very rewarding, when it is working well. If you are just starting therapy, I wish you the very best, and commend your bravery in trying something new.
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