Jun 2009
touchy-feely
20/06/09 13:25 Filed in: mind<->body
“My family wasn’t very touchy-feely.” This is often a comment made by people when talking with a therapist about their family. Why should this be important? There’s no entry in the DSM-IV Diagnostic Manual listing “wasn’t hugged by parents” as a mental illness. However there is a powerful link between touch and emotion and this is both a blessing and a curse, depending on your situation. A newborn infant doesn’t have an established sense of her own skin; she doesn’t have the ability to close her eyes and know where all her limbs are; she doesn’t even know that the limbs that she sees in front of her as hers. Touch has a key role in helping the newborn ‘feel herself’. The things that parents may do instinctively, such as cuddling, rocking, patting, whispering or murmuring in the ear, all serve to soothe the baby by giving a sensory ‘anchor-point’ to herself and her surroundings.
Much the same way a musician may use a ticking clock to keep time, a baby uses the palpable feelings of surfaces, sounds, familiar shapes (such as circular faces) and even smells to re-orient himself and ‘find his feet’. Without the availability of such cues (for example, if left lying unwrapped in a dark, quiet unfamiliar room), the experience might be a bit like free-falling through space. Adults who have experienced serious deprivation as infants sometimes report terrifying nightmares where they are falling, flailing through the air, or where their skin is flimsy and unable to stop their insides from ‘leaking out’.
Scary stuff. Without the grounding experience of touch, children may develop ‘autistic’ soothing behaviours, such as rocking, tapping, humming, or staring at a repetitive visual such as a flickering light. Ever catch yourself doing one of these? Puts Rave parties in a new perspective, doesn’t it? Add the sucking of a lollipop and you’ve got the complete infant soothing package!
Touch can also be used to activate or de-activate a person quite effectively. A light brushing touch has the effect of jangling-up the senses, causing restlessness and neurological arousal. One nice example where this might occur is during foreplay. Meanwhile, deep, heavy touching or squeezing can dampen-down the nervous system; anyone who has had a long deep tissue massage will know the woozy sleepy feeling that it leaves you with. More simply, a five-second hug can be immediately soothing, if you can find someone to provide one.
If you don’t have access to people (or pets!) who can provide soothing touch, you may find it hard to regulate your emotional states, and have to resort to alternatives such as food, drugs, electronic devices or even ‘doof-doof’ music. Next time you’re feeling your nerve-endings jangling, why not try asking a passer-by for a hug?
Much the same way a musician may use a ticking clock to keep time, a baby uses the palpable feelings of surfaces, sounds, familiar shapes (such as circular faces) and even smells to re-orient himself and ‘find his feet’. Without the availability of such cues (for example, if left lying unwrapped in a dark, quiet unfamiliar room), the experience might be a bit like free-falling through space. Adults who have experienced serious deprivation as infants sometimes report terrifying nightmares where they are falling, flailing through the air, or where their skin is flimsy and unable to stop their insides from ‘leaking out’.
Scary stuff. Without the grounding experience of touch, children may develop ‘autistic’ soothing behaviours, such as rocking, tapping, humming, or staring at a repetitive visual such as a flickering light. Ever catch yourself doing one of these? Puts Rave parties in a new perspective, doesn’t it? Add the sucking of a lollipop and you’ve got the complete infant soothing package!
Touch can also be used to activate or de-activate a person quite effectively. A light brushing touch has the effect of jangling-up the senses, causing restlessness and neurological arousal. One nice example where this might occur is during foreplay. Meanwhile, deep, heavy touching or squeezing can dampen-down the nervous system; anyone who has had a long deep tissue massage will know the woozy sleepy feeling that it leaves you with. More simply, a five-second hug can be immediately soothing, if you can find someone to provide one.
If you don’t have access to people (or pets!) who can provide soothing touch, you may find it hard to regulate your emotional states, and have to resort to alternatives such as food, drugs, electronic devices or even ‘doof-doof’ music. Next time you’re feeling your nerve-endings jangling, why not try asking a passer-by for a hug?
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