A Nervous Rex

25/05/09 21:12 Filed in: Relationships

Here’s why Freud thought the Greek tragedy of Oedipus Rex was a useful thing to base nearly all Psychology on: Everything that made life difficult for Oedipus, is also what makes life difficult for you and I. First, Oedipus was abandoned by his parents. This deprived him of the ability to get to know them as people. The struggle to see our parents as everyday, mortal humans, when they are a source of such joy and pain, is something that all of us, whether we are ‘well-adjusted’ or not, struggle to achieve through and beyond childhood.

When he got older, Oedipus went into battle with his father, and killed him. This part of the tale reflects the damned-if-you-do-damned-if-you-don’t problem we face when we come into some sort of conflict with our parents: if we let them win, we ourselves are annihilated; yet if we defeat them, then we are orphaned. What was Oedipus supposed to do?

As if this wasn’t bad enough for the Oedmeister, he was then invited to marry the queen of the defeated army, who just happened to be his mother, unbeknownst to him. He did so, and when he later discovered who she was, she killed herself, and he tore out his eyes. We could think of what he did as a way to restore the blindness or blissful ignorance about his parents that had been there throughout Oedipus’ life. But again, here is one of life’s great dilemmas painfully represented: What do we do with ‘taboo’ feelings (such as feeling attracted to another person’s partner)? It is a normal biological response for one person to be attracted to another from time to time, but what do we do if that person is off limits? Do we pretend the feelings aren’t there (go blind, like old Oedipus)? That may not work because then we may not notice if the feelings get stronger, or not notice how we are acting on them in an indirect way (we may not notice or admit to ourselves that we are flirting, for example). If, on the other hand, we embrace the feelings, we then increase the risk of acting on them directly, thus harming ourselves and the other person by crossing an uncrossable boundary (such as is crossed when one family member has sexual contact with another). The dilemmas aroused by these Oedipal issues do not have final solutions; they are a part of life. The trick is to understand them, and to live your life in such a way as to make room for them to be dealt with throughout life. The only way to ensure that these issues do not become toxic is to continually talk about them, with yourself and with others - to make sure you are not blind, like Oedipus was. That way, the ghost of poor old Oedipus might have a chance to rest in peace.